Here's where I get to reveal how naive I am when it comes to text messaging. You probably know what NLT means. I didn't, so I did what I always do when I don't know something (at least when my internet connection is working): I google it. (Is it grammatically acceptable yet to use Google as a verb?) I typed NLT into the search box and pressed enter. I got quite a list of possibilities. Here are a few.
New Living Translation. My hair stood on end, so I didn't click any of those links, but it's clear that this is biblical stuff. (Making universal crossed-fingers sign for warding off vampires.) It's true I don't know my chairperson very well. Maybe she is invoking a higher power? I'm OK with that. I need all the help I can get. Although it might not be a good sign for me if she is calling upon god in reference to my concept paper. If it is OK with you, Brava, I'm not going to link to any websites in a futile attempt to avoid giving them more Google ranking power.
NLT Building Products. The link took me to a funky little website for a Martinsville, Virginia, company that makes some special concrete blocks. "If you're a block molder interested in franchise opportunities, contact us!" Wow. What's a block molder? Does that job pay well? Do I need a Ph.D. to do that job? Somehow I don't think my chair was referring to masonry. Maybe it's a metaphor, like, you need to build a better theoretical foundation.
Nonlinear Transmission. When a voltage waveform travels along the NLT, it apparently gets distorted. That means the waveform becomes sharper and you get faster transition times. (Are you following this?) "One application of NLT is a comb generator." If she is referring to this definition of NLT, she could be referring to how my brain processes information—or doesn't. Or she could be suggesting I need to focus on grooming, which is always a good idea (I do have a comb somewhere, although currently I have very little hair; see previous post). Or, because NLT is related to microwaves, she could be sensing my tea is cold. Time to heat it up in my monster microwave. Back in a sec.
Not Like Them. Hey, who knew? NLT was a boy band from the mid 2000s. I've never heard of them, but Wikipedia authors informed me that one of the members played Artie on Glee. (He's the character in the wheelchair.) I've seen that show before. Could my chair be making an obscure reference to glee, as in, be happy, I'm sending your concept paper to the committee? Or maybe she is obliquely indicating I'm a mental cripple? (Wouldn't be the first time that has happened.)
National Literacy Trust or Nepal Leprosy Trust. Take your pick. Either one works equally well. I'm either illiterate, or I have leprosy. Possibly both! I'm beginning to think my chairperson is remarkably perceptive.
Not Later Than. Oh, duh. LOL. ISS (I'm so stupid.)
I remember card catalogs and the Dewey Decimal System. I remember analog phones and party lines. I remember black and white televisions with tubes that you had to smack to get an image, and knobs you turned to stop the picture from flipping end over end. I remember the odometer on our 1960 Oldsmobile Delta 88 turned red when you hit 70 mph (Go, Dad, go faster!) I remember when you had to go inside a bank and talk to a live person to get your cash. I remember when girls couldn't wear pants to school. I remember Vestal Elementary, where Pat Carroll was my only African-American classmate (we called her a Negro back then), and Ronnie Lee was the only Asian. I remember when there was no such thing as soft contact lenses. I remember when to wear any jeans but Levi's 501s meant you were a loser. I remember life before toaster ovens and microwaves.
I remember eating Play-doh in Sunday school and wishing I was anywhere but there. Good news. I am pretty sure Play-doh still exists, and I'm sadly all too certain that Sunday schools still exist, so if you want to experience a 50-year old memory (sort of like a re-enactment of pioneer days), you still can. I'm sure it will leave a lasting impression on you, too.
