What's in your closet?

I count myself lucky to have a relatively safe, comfortable place to live while I figure out what is coming next. My landlord and I have a wonderful agreement. I pay rent, and then I get to live here. It's a fantastic setup. What's more, my landlord has used their handyperson skills to make this room quite habitable, within the realm of what is possible considering we live in a single-wide in a mobile home park populated by equal numbers of spiky saguaros and white-haired octogenarians. I mean to say, it's great, with a few caveats.

One of the upgrades my landlord installed while I was dogsitting elsewhere was a motion sensor light in the closet. Seems like a wonderful amenity, right? You could always use more light in your closet, so you can admire all your . . .  whatever you store in your closet. Light is a wonderful thing, especially when it comes on automatically, like magic, without you having to yank a string, hit a switch, or push a button. 

This fabulous light is not just automatic. It is also very bright. Unfortunately for me, it just so happens the best place for my bed is in front of the closet door, which means the closet door must remain closed at night if I don't want to be constantly blinded. In fact, the light is so sensitive that even with the door closed, any motion in the room will set off the light, and it will remain blazing brightly for twenty minutes before it decides its work is done and it can go back to sleep. I placed a large object in front of the closet door to block the gap at the bottom as soon as I returned from dogsitting, and I haven't opened the door since. 

Fortunately for me, I don't store anything in the closet. 

So, imagine my shock when a few nights ago, around midnight, that closet light suddenly came on. The narrow door was outlined with a glowing yellow light! I sat up on my foam rubber mattress, feeling my heart go into hyperdrive. I stared at the glowing outline. It didn't flicker. I rubbed my eyes. Was it a mirage? Was I dreaming? Nope. Still glowing. All kinds of thoughts raced through my head. Was there someone in the closet? Was there a critter in the closet? Perhaps a moth? A mouse? A packrat emerging from a nest under the trailer? Dust motes piling up into bunnies big enough to set off that hair trigger light? 

There was no way I was going to open that closet door to find out. I eventually lay back down on the mattress and stared at the glowing outline of the door in the wall past my feet, waiting, watching, listening for the slightest sound, a breath, a rattle, a flutter, a scurry. Nothing. Of course, I got bored and fell asleep, and the next time I got up to pee, the light was off. I examined the door from a safe distance, but in the dark, I can't see much. I boldly waved my hands a few times, thinking I could set off the light. Nothing. It was as dark and quiet as it had ever been, up until it wasn't.

You might think the next day I would have opened the closet door. You would be wrong. I think I've figured out what is beyond it, something I wasn't expecting to encounter in a decrepit prefab trailer. I believe that narrow fake wood closet door is a brand new doorway to hell. Yep. That's the only explanation. Nothing else makes sense. Somehow, creatures from the underworld found a thin spot in the veil and built a staircase into my closet. It's a good thing I don't store anything in there. I don't have many possessions left, but what I do have, I'd like to keep a while longer. I don't want to have to go to hell to chase after my stuff. 

Now my question is, what do I tell my landlord? Uh, you might not be aware of this, but I now have a lot more square footage than we originally thought. I can just imagine, they would probably say, Well, Carol, you've doubled, maybe tripled, your living space. Surely you can see that the rent would have to go up a little bit, too, right? To compensate for the wear and tear on the closet rug, if nothing else. And probably the utilities would have to go up some as well, considering we are now illuminating some portion of hell. And by the way, I wish you'd warned me that you were going to be remodeling. 

And then I would protest, I had nothing to do with it, it was that confounded motion sensor light you installed in the ceiling to light up a 15-square foot space. A regular light would have been perfectly adequate. And twenty minutes! Who spends twenty minutes in the closet? Well. Hm. Forget I asked that question. I suppose I would, if I were trying to escape the noise of cars cutting donuts in the Sam's Club parking lot next door. Anyway, somehow, some demons or something noticed how brightly lit the space was and decided to move in. I don't have control over demons. In my limited experience, they do what they want.

Since then, the doorway has remained dark. Each time I stagger off my mattress and stumble into the bathroom, I give the door a wary glance, but I don't go too close. You never know. I could get sucked into hell. I hope I'll have a little advance notice, so I can bring a handbasket with me. I might need some water or some ibuprofen on that trip. Hopefully, there won't be any dogs that need walking or feeding at 5 am. I hope it's nice and warm and quiet in hell. I could use a break.