I don't have much to say tonight. I don't have time, either. It's crunch time for my Spanish dissertator. In any case, when work falls into my inbox, I usually jump right on it, unless I'm already booked with other work, which was the case this week. I can only work on one project at a time. First come, first served.
Truthfully, I would rather be left alone.
To that end (escape), I feel compelled to minimize, downsize, death clean. Despite my intentions, I still slip up from time to time. For example, I bought two things this week: a heating pad to keep my feet warm while I work and sleep and a new seat for my bicycle. (Can I say "my" bicycle now? I still think of it as Linda's, even though she is dead now and she hardly ever rode it anyway.)
These two things are immediately and measurably improving the quality of my life. I guess most people would say that is money well spent.
The heart monitor results are in. I'm not trained to read an EKG but even I can see that some of those squiggly lines look like an earthquake on a Richter scale. Is that normal? I suspect not but I'll find out for sure when I have a sitdown with my cardiologist.
I'm not used to thinking of myself as a person with a heart problem. That is someone else's problem, not mine. Dad's problem. My cousin Dave's problem (he's still on the roof).
Most of my friends have had Covid-19. My New Mexico friend just tested positive today. I feel some anxiety for her. It's hard to predict how sick someone will get. One friend was down for two weeks or more. One friend bounced back pretty fast. I worry all the time.
So far I have managed to dodge the Covid bug by staying away from crowds of people, which is not hard for me, given that I don't like crowds of people. I don't travel except alone by car. I don't go to family gatherings because I have no family here. I don't socialize with more than one friend at a time, and that almost always occurs out of doors. I wear an N95 mask to shop. I shop fast, like a guerilla in the jungle. I don't lollygag, I get in and get out.
Besides not getting Covid (yet), I also have the superpower of invisibility. Nobody notices an older poorly dressed woman wearing a face mask.
It's great to be old and invisible. However, even though humans don't see me, Covid can. I guess people are over it. I'm stuck in an endless loop. I go through the litany of losses to explain why my brain and body are failing: cat, Covid, Mom, moving. My little life losses still linger. So tired.
